Thoughts That Can Get You Through ANY Crisis

1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
2. There is always one more "son-of-a-bitch" than you counted on.
3. You can't tell which wan the train went by looking at the track.
4. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
5. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
6. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
7. Sometimes too much to drink is still not enough.
8. The facts, although they may be interesting, are usually irrelevant.
9. The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
10. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
11. Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.
12. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
13. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
14. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
15. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
16. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
17. This is probably as bad as it gets but don't count on it.
18. If you think that there is good in everyone, you haven't met everyone.
19. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
20. One-seventh of your life is spent on Mondays.
21. One-seventh of your life is spent on Fridays.
22. By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
24. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.