YOU KNOW YOU ARE FROM L.A IF...

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• Your co-worker tells you he/she has 8 body piercings... and none are visible.
• You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house.
• Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring and is named Breeze.
• You can't remember ... is pot illegal?
• You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
• You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian.
• You also know which Brentwood restaurant serves the freshest Arugula.
• A really great parking space can move you to tears.
• A low-speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
• You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits, a fab exercise facility, a tofu takeout and an espresso bar.
• You're thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between aromatherapy and conversational Mandarin.
• Your best friends just named their twins after her acting coach and his personal trainer.
• Your company sends an inner office memo that there will be a wedding shower at 3pm in the conference room for Jeffrey and Greg.
• Gas costs 50 cents a gallon more than anywhere else in the United States.
• A man walks on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps.  You don't notice.
• Any major movie star is picking out the best portobello mushrooms next to you at the grocers and you don't notice.
• Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 in the morning at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.
• Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
• You really can never be too rich or too thin.
• The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.
• The workday starts at 10am...or whenever you get out of your therapy session.
• Any invitation comes with, "Starts at 8pm or as soon as you can get through traffic."
• You have never met a waiter that wasn't really an "Actor."
• Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into B&D, and S&M, and your Mary Kay Cosmetic Lady is a guy in drag.
• You never go to a coffee house without a copy of a script - any script.
• It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH '99"
• You call 911 and they put you on hold.
• You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:30 tae-bo class.
• Your paperboy has a two picture deal.
• The three hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn't caused by a horrific 9 car pile-up, but by everyone slowing to rubberneck at a lost shoe lying on the shoulder.
• An earthquake hits and you say casually to the person sitting next to you:  "3.5".